stuck in limbo NOT!

blow it over.

so we all move on, and it all gets better:)

am in an unexpectedly good mood, despite how my whole body is aching from this morning, and the tons of work i was supposed to do from long ago but haven't even bothered looking for yet (story of my life).

haha YAY! :D

whatever the hell.

i'm really disappointed in some of my friends. and it just shows me what a big mistake it was for me to let you in and become such a significant part of my life. it's not even your lack of consideration. it's your lack of everything that is needed to make a friendship run smoothly.

look, it takes two hands to make a clap ok? but i can't really blame you either. it's my fault for letting, of all people, someone like you, into my life. we just were never meant to be more than acquaintances, and i don't know how we let ourselves believe otherwise.

still. i'm very disappointed. and i know you'll be reading this and i know i have never brought this up to you, but i'm not going to bother either. you were amongst the few i ever got so close to, and if new friends and distance is all it takes, maybe it's a good thing after all, that my faith in this friendship is blown away.

ah, youth

i feel OLD man. the big 2-0 is approaching!

no it's not a birthday announcement. that's months later. haha. but watching the younger girls at dinner the other day, talking at top speed, with such excitement. ah, just like we used to. such exuberance, with a zest for life. the abandon, so carefree, so happy:)

yeah well so it made me realise (yes, finally) that shit! i'm growing up!

like today, on the way back, a bunch of sec school kids were all action bedek and trying to act cool and impress the girls, who were also trying to act cool and self assured and popular. haha we were laughing so hard and trying to cover up so they don't see us but i hope we weren't so silly at that age man!

be happy and young while you can, kids! :)




same tutorials again this sem man. heaven knows:)

you call it paranoia, i call it insurance.

i just broke another bowl. the wonderful yellow one that so resembled my don'tworrybehappy one, which i lost. let's hope ikea keeps its stock despite the new year.


darnit i still have everything to do. and i thought i finished the worst of it when i cleared out my nus mail. fat hope.

where are the lists i made?!



greys anatomy recap ho hum anybody with the first season please lend it to me i will love you forever and ever and ever.


oh donny boy, you are a real classic.
:)

i'm sorry i couldn't make it

it's raining but this time i'm not as gladdened by it as i usually am.

the toilets in nus are so gross now, save for those in places like Uni Hall and the central library. and the slopes can be such a pain to balance on when it's all wet and i wear my flip flops. and i'm trying to figure out other reasons but maybe it's just my mood.

for one, it's balloting time. i'm getting a major headache about it. it's all been quite dowdy so far, starting with being outbidded on my gem (curse you, lucky pigs who sneakily stole it from me! yes i'm sore okk!) and then having the right french slot a non-option now since yannick will be tutoring it. i'm trying to place french somewhere SUITABLE but it's getting harder since i keep shuffling the rest too.

also, i'm more broke than ever before. period. someone get me a credit card with unlimited reserves please!




had a chat with an old friend recently, and it went fairly well. but then it got me thinking about how there's new friends and old, and we made promises to keep in touch and all. of course we meant it, just didn't always manage to keep to it. we're moving on, but it's a bit disarming to move on without the familiarity of the past, of old friends. it's probably the same everywhere, but i'm still quite disappointed at just how we are absent from each others' lives, and how awkward it can be. the way it is if we meet after not being in touch such a long time. i don't know how to say that you are missed, knowing that probably nothing is going to come of it, and even if we meet, it probably wouldn't be the same so that the memories may actually be more satisfying, but i suppose i can never know. the people i've lost touch with, people like dex and nicolas, sara and dorothy. they'll never read this, but somehow i wish i could tell them that they really mean(T) a lot to me.

guess i just have to make it good from now:)

war zone

the whole nus admin inefficiency is getting me irritated again. have started looking at ivle since APPARENTLY (and how on earth is one supposed to know) french only starts thursday. which is whooppedeedoo for me but i better start getting acquainted with this stuff.

so then im at the fna forum and everything is like look at the course website for the schedule and stuff. wth is ivle for then, u schmucks?! im getting so irked cuz i have not planned anything at all this sem, not my tutorials, not my bag, not my laptop, hell i havent even cleaned up last sems mess!

and i am in the middle of a bad bad situation. hello hello tension, are u like this in kashmir too?


scary stuff. the PAP gets so much harder to like. tan wah piow. check him out.

two points.

for all of two points i was outbidded on my gem that i so carefully planned. after like three million changes of decisions. i'm so heartbroken okkkk and now i have a five day bloody week and a module to choose from the lousy ones left and i have NEVER been outbidded and i hate them alll!!!!!!

oh no now i have to choose between two lousy SS and they seem like so much work and they BOTH fall on my otherwise free wednesday and have such lousy timingsssssssss! i feel like cryinnnnggggggg!!!!

ok now cool it. HR or legal systems blah blah i dont even noe what they're called just noe their lousy codes!! i HATE the morons who outbidded me. you sly, sneaky, points rich toads who jump in during close bidding. DIE all of you, DIE!

HOOOOWWWW!!!!

damn shits now i have to do EVERYTHING again!!

bloody hell.

so you see i've figured out why

holidays are ending darnit! its been good(: and i figured out why this site and my lj have been home to some real stupid emotional crap of entries. but thats another story for another day.

and you wont ask and i wont say.



in other news bidding is underway! quite shitty, since i missed my GEM by all of two points. gah! i hope it's available in 2B, and if so i'm going to sink absolutely all my points into it. and then i gotta figure out something about the tutorials.

hols have been tight and am quite glad about that, even though i've been spending a lot on meals out with assorted groups of friends, and shopping, which i quite dislike (all that walking. the horror!) unless i buy lots of stuff at a go, following which i am a very happy kid:)

lots of stuff cleared too, in my mind. the two biggest plagues of friendship i have/had, well, they're underway to being resolved. whatever the ways, i've gone through more than my fair share of shit in it so i really have done what i have to, and now i am pretty content with it:)

am quite glad about all this, even with the disappointment and stuff earlier (disappointment is a gross understatement), because i guess after the dark hours is when it gets brighter and stuff. i guess at some point i got tired enough and stopped caring, and you just helped me realise it. i feel pretty clear about where things are now, and its very heartening for a lot of reasons:)

last weekend was a fair blow to me, for all the wrong reasons. i was really just pretty tired (there's that word again) and pretty lost. and there again is that reference to the past, but i suppose that's what i'm going to look at when i move on. guess the shit really has to hit the fan before it gets better(:

never been one to make new year resolutions, since i never really remembered them beyond the first five minutes of creation, and because i had always been biting my nails. now that's a dying bad habit, and now i'm just going to resolve to be more me than someone else.

heres to old friendships and new, lasting friendships and i suppose even the promised ones that didn't quite work out. here's to getting my bids so far, and having a good school year, and finally here's to a year of hopes made, faith strengthened, and dreams realised. yours and mine:)