hush it up now

i'm thinking what the hell?

an ex pupil just told me her birthday is tml (read:april fools day) and payal happy birthday to you too. i have no idea what ur doing now, but i hope we meet again soon:)

i can't believe i have frenchfreakingtest on my birthday. and financial accounting report due the next day. so much for turning the big 2-0.

speaking of which i am so way behind in my work and i just keep avoiding it some more. and i know i seem troubled and all here, but nicolas (yes him again!) puts things in perspective when i least expect it. like when he asked myra if she had any problems/difficulties (there's a difference) in life, and she said oui, her boyfriend doesn't like shopping. of course he made it a joke then, and of course she wouldn't tell us any big issue she had in life, but then it made me think, where IS all this teen angst (not mine, duh) from my friends coming from? i mean sure we have some sucky days, and sure we have conflicts every now and then, but at this point, to me at least, if it's not something hard to reverse/get out of, it's not a big deal.

forget birthday celebrations. people should really start growing up now. and that doesn't mean overserious like life need only be taken so.

definitely not what i expected

some things have got to give. and some things have got to change.

i'd like to say it's now or never, but the way i have always known it, no such ultimatum has ever worked on me.

i can't stand some of my friends now. and it's all for different reasons. am i being intolerant, or is it just them?

the old me wouldn't even have bothered or considered.

now the thing is, how do i let them know? i have to, because the facade is getting tiring to keep up. it's different when you are strangers with someone, and it's another thing altogether when you just can't stand someone.

maybe it's just temporary, like how these things go. i hope so.

it's friday i'm in love

it's sundays like yesterday and the week before that make me so glad i'm female.
:)


this is quite stupid, because it feels so repetitive to say i've been busy with uni. but i have, and quite frankly, the stuff outside of uni that happens, i'd rather not talk about. the good, the bad, the excellent. and that which'd make me smile thirty years down the road:)


da dum da dum da dum:)

hell fortnight?

i really shouldn't be here. not when i have all this work and stupid deadlines piled up, and not when i am sick and should be resting (in front of the tv).

ok i really shouldn't be here.

sorry all, who i cancelled on in the weekend. i'm REALLY sick. plus i ha(ve) all these deadlines. i'll make it up to you. PROMISE! :)

da dum da dum da dum!

i am super duper excited!

5 march can you come no faster. haha:)
whowhowhowhowho!

da dum da dum da dum!

the frog on the bus - 100

my phone is still not with me. somehow, i really don't mind at all.

i went grocery shopping today! haha ok i looked for apples, like, alone for the first time ever. had to walk two rounds to find the basket. and then i wasn't sure if i should just go to the cashier but we all learn! haha. i spent super long picking the apples that were pink/red/not dirty/not soft/etc. i think i picked right. haha. and just as i was finishing the guy came with new stock and i was like OH NO i must get the best apples there are! (yes i know very odd personal achievements) so i relooked the apples for another five min before i got tired of it. it's wonderful how all the aunties help each other out. ok i'm so kampung at heart man. that's why i like this, and that's why everytime i go to bedok i get so glad seeing how it's so, community and all :)

i wanna make apple pudding! ok that's the only pudding i know how to make.

am still sick so no netball for me tomorrow. madhu's very pissed cuz i refused to see the doctor and have been blowing my nose like crazy the past three days. i'm very tired of it. and my nose it starting to peel. and my throat hurts even though i've been sucking lozenges like i own a factory full of them.

and i have so much work to do. i'm not even bothering.
HOW this is so a levels man SHIT.


and the previous post. i didn't mean that smart people suck. please i love roshni;) i just meant that i don't think i'll ever be able to isolate myself and read up all these thick, cheem books most of my time and just let life pass me by.

but i thought about it. when i'm older and i want to change career i have other options now! besides teaching la. i want to..be a librarian! or journalist. or actually. if i can. i'd really really like to own my own bookstore. one of those cosy kinds, that gets me enough business to survive, but no big thing that keeps me at business all the time. i want to read daily in my own cosy shop and live with my friends, my books, my coffee.


oh yeah.

aren't we confused

was talking to a very smart, very very smart and brilliant guy today. he knows a lot, broadly as well as in depth. about so many different things, from many perspectives, from many ages.

and then it occurred to me. so what? so what if you know so much, and you know everything, and you absorb and retain information like einstein probably did?

what's the point of it all.

don't get me wrong. i am appreciative and very impressed with brilliance and people who have abundance of knowledge. but then, at the cost of what? what's the point of knowing the mysteries of life when you don't live and appreciate the beauty of it for yourself?



live for yourself, live for others. your life isn't only yours after all:)


still pretty sick. hope it goes away ASAP. and i realised not having my phone is very liberating. i have no one to account to, no reason to, no care to.
:)


very funny project meeting today. i'm telling you. they stole the tap furnishings and all 7 jumped into the jacuzzi together. of course it'd break.
and honestly, darling. nobody wears pearl earrings at that age.

Life without T

and U and V. the 8TUV key on my handphone is, non functioning. what perfect timing, seeing how i can't service it like i've been telling myself to, as has madhu, since it's chinese new year and all. my msgs are WEIRD now, with yoos and can'ds and the like. saks man. i am almost jealos of de people who can dype yoosing dheir yoos and wees and dees.

yep, something like that.

in other news, happy valentine's day! ok a belated one. haha:)

OK YAY i just finished something i have been postponing to FOREVER for. and it's like TGIF and then a week of holidays booooyeah! i am going to hit the shops come wednesday, and not cuz i'm some sorta shopaholic addict shopping crazed maniac, but cuz i haven't gone in forever and a day.

please also remind me that i better start studying because i have midterms the week after and my marketing and ss and psych book is still pretty and untouched and unwrapped even. i have no idea what i've been so busy with this week but i HAVE to make sure there are fewer late/forever in school days. two hours journeys are no joke man.

everyone watch parental guidance on thursdays at 830pm. if u can, record it too, cuz i have FREAKING LESSON till 8pm and can't get home in time for it. hey i LIKE the show okkkk! :P

ok i better change my phone. geez. hate technology sometimes.




HEY all you ahs kids who may be reading this. you are loved, and you are missed tons! :)

hey the rest of you reading this - yeah man i can't believe it either. i used to hate kids. but ahs has taught me i dislike younger kids. you know, the scary kind who bawl and wail and scream and throw tantrums and run around yelling and crying and that kind of thing. and the ahs kids rock. (yes, despite the mountain they live on. haha)

happy chinese new year folks! may you be blessed with good health and prosperity and may you bless me with lots of sweets and chocolates and other traditional cny food! ;)

we rise, we fall

it's been a different sort of week alright.

there's french, as usual, with nicolas and his out of the box views. and how right he is too. 'the meaning of life is what you want it to be' and 'i'm glad that when i was in uni nobody cared about anything at all. and that helped me take a step back from everything, be detached. and that's why i know that even if one way doesn't work out for you, others will.' briliant man, that one. a bit, well, off. but brilliant nonetheless:)

and then there's the book i picked up and am horrified is still allowed publication in singapore. or distribution. isn't singapore somewhere in china, luv? talk about encouraging brain drain. but how right that was too. we really are turning into one of those mega cities where people stop caring about others. it's all a rush and no surprise too, seeing how everything seems increasingly about career, cash, the other 3Cs. i already feel it, and i haven't even ventured properly into the working world. i just want to work, and enjoy my work, and stay sane. is that too much to ask for? i don't want to work and keep working because my life is empty otherwise, and man everyone should read the book. even if i don't think it's so well written.

last episode ever of PCK. okay so i didn't catch even one episode this season, and maybe a few more, but wow it's over. funny how you grow up with the seasons.

cycling. we all learn the hard way, but falling less and less. and just before we can cycle ourselves, we tell ourselves we can't. for me, dad said he'd hold on to the bike and make sure i don't fall, and it was only when i turned back that i realised i was moving on my own, successfully.

you see, it was all in the mind.

the french, if they are anything like nicolas, are amazing. he really puts the world into a different perspective. the way he looks at the small things everyone else overlooks, and the way he sees reason in the hardest of things:)



next week is going to be hard. when am i ever going to meet you?

if i let you go

it's one of those days where there's a lot on my mind, but i don't really feel like typing anything out.

i take back whatever i said earlier. i'm not disappointed with anyone or anything. it was just one of those days, but i'm very clear about what went wrong. it's all, well, much better now:)

i'm back to the routine. you know, slacking and procrastinating. so much for me telling my students the value of hard, consistent, diligent work. i HAVE to do something about this soon man. bleagh.


Yesterday when you were walking
We talked about your mum and dad
What they did that made you happy
What they did that made you sad
We sat and watched the sun go down
Picked a star before we lost the moon
Youth is wasted on the young
Before you know it's come and gone too soon

You were there for summer dreaming
And you are a friend indeed
And I hope you find your freedom
For eternity


ah, but how i'd like to be peter pan,
or in neverneverland.


"because i don't think my soulmate has to be the one i love."

stuck in limbo NOT!

blow it over.

so we all move on, and it all gets better:)

am in an unexpectedly good mood, despite how my whole body is aching from this morning, and the tons of work i was supposed to do from long ago but haven't even bothered looking for yet (story of my life).

haha YAY! :D

whatever the hell.

i'm really disappointed in some of my friends. and it just shows me what a big mistake it was for me to let you in and become such a significant part of my life. it's not even your lack of consideration. it's your lack of everything that is needed to make a friendship run smoothly.

look, it takes two hands to make a clap ok? but i can't really blame you either. it's my fault for letting, of all people, someone like you, into my life. we just were never meant to be more than acquaintances, and i don't know how we let ourselves believe otherwise.

still. i'm very disappointed. and i know you'll be reading this and i know i have never brought this up to you, but i'm not going to bother either. you were amongst the few i ever got so close to, and if new friends and distance is all it takes, maybe it's a good thing after all, that my faith in this friendship is blown away.

ah, youth

i feel OLD man. the big 2-0 is approaching!

no it's not a birthday announcement. that's months later. haha. but watching the younger girls at dinner the other day, talking at top speed, with such excitement. ah, just like we used to. such exuberance, with a zest for life. the abandon, so carefree, so happy:)

yeah well so it made me realise (yes, finally) that shit! i'm growing up!

like today, on the way back, a bunch of sec school kids were all action bedek and trying to act cool and impress the girls, who were also trying to act cool and self assured and popular. haha we were laughing so hard and trying to cover up so they don't see us but i hope we weren't so silly at that age man!

be happy and young while you can, kids! :)




same tutorials again this sem man. heaven knows:)

you call it paranoia, i call it insurance.

i just broke another bowl. the wonderful yellow one that so resembled my don'tworrybehappy one, which i lost. let's hope ikea keeps its stock despite the new year.


darnit i still have everything to do. and i thought i finished the worst of it when i cleared out my nus mail. fat hope.

where are the lists i made?!



greys anatomy recap ho hum anybody with the first season please lend it to me i will love you forever and ever and ever.


oh donny boy, you are a real classic.
:)

i'm sorry i couldn't make it

it's raining but this time i'm not as gladdened by it as i usually am.

the toilets in nus are so gross now, save for those in places like Uni Hall and the central library. and the slopes can be such a pain to balance on when it's all wet and i wear my flip flops. and i'm trying to figure out other reasons but maybe it's just my mood.

for one, it's balloting time. i'm getting a major headache about it. it's all been quite dowdy so far, starting with being outbidded on my gem (curse you, lucky pigs who sneakily stole it from me! yes i'm sore okk!) and then having the right french slot a non-option now since yannick will be tutoring it. i'm trying to place french somewhere SUITABLE but it's getting harder since i keep shuffling the rest too.

also, i'm more broke than ever before. period. someone get me a credit card with unlimited reserves please!




had a chat with an old friend recently, and it went fairly well. but then it got me thinking about how there's new friends and old, and we made promises to keep in touch and all. of course we meant it, just didn't always manage to keep to it. we're moving on, but it's a bit disarming to move on without the familiarity of the past, of old friends. it's probably the same everywhere, but i'm still quite disappointed at just how we are absent from each others' lives, and how awkward it can be. the way it is if we meet after not being in touch such a long time. i don't know how to say that you are missed, knowing that probably nothing is going to come of it, and even if we meet, it probably wouldn't be the same so that the memories may actually be more satisfying, but i suppose i can never know. the people i've lost touch with, people like dex and nicolas, sara and dorothy. they'll never read this, but somehow i wish i could tell them that they really mean(T) a lot to me.

guess i just have to make it good from now:)

war zone

the whole nus admin inefficiency is getting me irritated again. have started looking at ivle since APPARENTLY (and how on earth is one supposed to know) french only starts thursday. which is whooppedeedoo for me but i better start getting acquainted with this stuff.

so then im at the fna forum and everything is like look at the course website for the schedule and stuff. wth is ivle for then, u schmucks?! im getting so irked cuz i have not planned anything at all this sem, not my tutorials, not my bag, not my laptop, hell i havent even cleaned up last sems mess!

and i am in the middle of a bad bad situation. hello hello tension, are u like this in kashmir too?


scary stuff. the PAP gets so much harder to like. tan wah piow. check him out.

two points.

for all of two points i was outbidded on my gem that i so carefully planned. after like three million changes of decisions. i'm so heartbroken okkkk and now i have a five day bloody week and a module to choose from the lousy ones left and i have NEVER been outbidded and i hate them alll!!!!!!

oh no now i have to choose between two lousy SS and they seem like so much work and they BOTH fall on my otherwise free wednesday and have such lousy timingsssssssss! i feel like cryinnnnggggggg!!!!

ok now cool it. HR or legal systems blah blah i dont even noe what they're called just noe their lousy codes!! i HATE the morons who outbidded me. you sly, sneaky, points rich toads who jump in during close bidding. DIE all of you, DIE!

HOOOOWWWW!!!!

damn shits now i have to do EVERYTHING again!!

bloody hell.

so you see i've figured out why

holidays are ending darnit! its been good(: and i figured out why this site and my lj have been home to some real stupid emotional crap of entries. but thats another story for another day.

and you wont ask and i wont say.



in other news bidding is underway! quite shitty, since i missed my GEM by all of two points. gah! i hope it's available in 2B, and if so i'm going to sink absolutely all my points into it. and then i gotta figure out something about the tutorials.

hols have been tight and am quite glad about that, even though i've been spending a lot on meals out with assorted groups of friends, and shopping, which i quite dislike (all that walking. the horror!) unless i buy lots of stuff at a go, following which i am a very happy kid:)

lots of stuff cleared too, in my mind. the two biggest plagues of friendship i have/had, well, they're underway to being resolved. whatever the ways, i've gone through more than my fair share of shit in it so i really have done what i have to, and now i am pretty content with it:)

am quite glad about all this, even with the disappointment and stuff earlier (disappointment is a gross understatement), because i guess after the dark hours is when it gets brighter and stuff. i guess at some point i got tired enough and stopped caring, and you just helped me realise it. i feel pretty clear about where things are now, and its very heartening for a lot of reasons:)

last weekend was a fair blow to me, for all the wrong reasons. i was really just pretty tired (there's that word again) and pretty lost. and there again is that reference to the past, but i suppose that's what i'm going to look at when i move on. guess the shit really has to hit the fan before it gets better(:

never been one to make new year resolutions, since i never really remembered them beyond the first five minutes of creation, and because i had always been biting my nails. now that's a dying bad habit, and now i'm just going to resolve to be more me than someone else.

heres to old friendships and new, lasting friendships and i suppose even the promised ones that didn't quite work out. here's to getting my bids so far, and having a good school year, and finally here's to a year of hopes made, faith strengthened, and dreams realised. yours and mine:)

happy (advanced) new year!

i'll wish you all now itself, because life's going to be way busier till uni starts, and i really doubt i'll be here in between:)

of course, i'm doing this when i'm supposed to be doing work online, but that's ok, i'll be quick. darnit all my work should have been done at the start of hols, like cleaning up (screw it for now) and planning my sem2 timetable (HOW!!!), but all's not lost:)

it's been quite a year. very different, and i feel like i'm going to repeat myself since i just blogged about this at my ahs blog. in short, work, uni and social circles.

it's been an incredible year chock full of stress, anger, rage, glee, delight, happiness and satisfaction. there's been a few shockers and disappointments, and many surprises and what makes the stuff of memories. it's been a year of many friendships gone or faded, and many new ones. old friends will always stay of course, and it's been brightening to meet them, especially spontaneously. acquaintances have become friends, and friends have become mere acquaintances, but it's good to know that there's always those who will be there for you, and who you will stand by, no matter what happens.

it's been a year of different identities, and finding myself. it's been a lot of being anti-social, only to come out and realise that things haven't really changed, and it's just the phases we go through. it's been a year where i've been confronted into growing up, and how keeping in touch has never been as exercised as it has now. it's been a year of guys in NS, and girls in uni, and the rest still staying where they always were. the parties, the clubbing, the social gatherings, it's all, as the thai say, same same, but different. freedom has taken on an altered meaning, and trust has maifested in far different ways from which i'd ever imagined.

it's been a year of taboos, and realising it's all around anyways. maturing, sticking by, never giving up, moving on - these have come after the biggest disappointment (expected, but still) of the year. lessons learnt, lessons learnt but not followed, new philosophies and mottos, most unpracticed; and then learning that in the end, it showed in different ways.

life's been different alright, but it's had its different sides. all with the new experience. was never really one to make concrete resolutions, and with good reason too. now i'll proudly proclaim that after years of resolutions, new year or not, but with no effort in any case,

I Have Stopped Biting My Nails.

well, more or less.
:)

oh frabjous day, calooh callayh!
he chortled in his joy.


happy new year all! :)

same same..but different

life's been moving along.
:)

the end of the year coming. oh man, it's been a helluva ride.
:)
i love how the most unexpected things now make me smile. and i love how we've become.

merry christmas and happy new year, and much love!

phoebe tay, where are you?

blusterfluster

i hate my sociology grade. and i worked the hardest for it.

ihateitstupidbloodydamnedmodule.


and also stupid automatic updates i don't want to restart my computer BUGGER OFF ALREADY!


walau soci. is. such. a. disappointment.


can someone tell me what grades make up the points on cap please thank you very much.

i hate you because i love you

i am annoyed with a fair bit of stuff, like how sociology is IMMENSE, and that's about all i've started on. or how i have no faith at all in european history, seeing how i can't even do three chapters in two days and we have what, a million?

and of course, as there always is with me, petulant, hoping yet knowing better than to expect me, there's the stupid people i am surrounded by, who by themselves are far from stupid but every other thing points the other way. like how base they are, and how i let them be. or how i enjoy their company even though i should know better. or how i expect nothing at all, knowing full well i should, just so they can be their stupid selves.

and everytime i move on, because we all know it's the best thing for me to do, they pop up and do something so uncharacteristically not them, that i am forced to the same position of neither here nor there.

darn.




BUT then of course, there's so many ways they make me smile. the wishes, the confidantes, the gossip and bitching, the sharing, the consoling, the surprises, the fun, and the laughter.


thanks for illuminating my life:)



p.s. u still suck! ;P

to sweet beginnings, and bitter endings

and it's all for the better too.

we all learn, we all grow. and sometimes, you just have to shake off the past.
because after all, there's no assurance in the promises of yesteryear.

home

the wheels on the bus go round and round, round and round, round and round.

life's so mundane but i have found out something that has absolutely made my day and i am going to take immediate action when i can!
haha ok yay if people around me didn't think i was studying and not chatting or on blogspot i'd be bouncing around in glee.

darnit i can't WAIT for tuesday!

united colours of benetton

as my chinese friends would say, zhong4 se4 qing1 you3
haha i have NO idea at all how it works, but i agree.

today was a day of frenchmen, germans and a very,very,very good looking guy who i think is in engineering. when i say very goodlooking, it's the whole works. and he's french too! :)

today was also a day of funny questions, terrible matchmaking (OBVIOUSLY not done by me) and eggtarts.



j'aime bien beaucoup.
:)

the excuse for hello

happy deepavali and selamat hari raya to all my celebrating friends:)

someone find me The Spot thank you pls!

European history is scaring the shit out of me. and i cannot wait for friday 8pm to end so i can get on to the weekend. or friday night.
:):)

i have friends who are superbly nice. iloveyoutonsallyougreatpeopleoutthere! for everything you do, for everything you do without me expecting it, and for everything you do that makes me smile to myself because you made my day or reminded me of how you once did.

so obviously i'm going to ignore the friends i invested so much in, with it all coming to naught. excuses, you and i have them, but we'll see when it all dies down. And then you'll know you;re probably one of those who meant so much to me, when i don't start again by saying 'hello', the way it always worked between us. and yes, you will be missed, but not enough for me to start all over again with all the efforts and time and everything else. not for all the trouble thereafter.

stupid stuff like this always gets me irked and question the friendships i have but then when i do that i just sideline all the great friends i have who are worth keeping, because they won't need so many chances. i forget, for that time, how much those friends mean to me, and i forget what they've done. the efforts the time the everything:)

so here's to them, to great friends, and to the ones worth keeping.



on a brighter note. well none really seeing how work is piled up, i'm backlogged, have a ton of non-NUS things to clear and can only stay rooted to the computer or tv. BUT i must say i am proud of taking out the irritating tagboard all by myself. that is an achievement ok. am also very happy that i have both mithai and kueh in my house and will be getting more.asap. haha

of course there's other stuff like i actually have started growing my nails, i went shopping after three million years, had the chocolate fountain at a diwali party (!!!! i KNOW u all are in love with chocolate too ok!), didn't kill my handphone bill this month and darnit i am off to eat kulfi that has been prepared. but then, that'd just be narcissistic, now, wouldn't it? ;)

the idiot black boxes

ok la he IS quite cool.

shucks i feel terrible about tonight. but if ur reading this ur the nicest friend ever. and not just cuz u got me chocolate:)

i will be right here waiting for you. right?

"Just because you can't say something doesn't mean
you don't want to, you can want to very much.

You can be with a person and be happy with them, and not
love them, or you can love someone and not want to be with them.


You don't need to love someone ...to want them.


Well, it's frustrating.


When what your brain tells you what you want and
what you actually want dont match up, it's exhausting.
And it's complicated. Well, thats life and life... sucks"

-Grey's Anatomy



i don't actually watch the show but i'm gg to start with it soon:)

black butted baboon

bloody haze seems way worse than last time. like i'm not already lazy, it's hazy and i have no intention of going out like this. pity, so many mooncake celebrations going on. (the food, duh. what did u think, the chinese riddles?)

realised how out of touch i am with my religion. gah.

growing up is such a pain, and it's not only cuz being younger was more free or what have you. somehow people are so much less themselves, and more what they reckon people'd like them to be. i'm not excused from it, mind you. someday, i'd like to be like SM, who totally shocked me with his ease at speaking about his family. like, complete acceptance and no problems or pretence about it, completely appreciative of what he has rather than wishing for what he doesn't have, about who he is and not trying in the least to cover it up.

sometimes, you realise it's the people who'd be called losers who really are true to themselves, and honestly, i'd rather be them than the people who lead people into believing they're something they frantically try to be, even unconsciously. and then there's those people who like to think they're all real and all, but really, if you think that way i really doubt it la. of course, this is by going on how SM is.

he. is. one. cool. dude. nobody else i know has struck me so randomly this way.



every time i walk out of south asian i have all this resolve to work to the betterment of all the victims of india's inequalities. somehow, i don't think all this will stick on me though, because living in such an age, in such a society (read: materialistic, self absorbed, you get the gist) will keep me floating with the rest. this sucks, and it sucks that i don't have enough in me to anything now even though i have the means (it takes like 75 bucks to sponsor a kid in cambodia) and i want to do something but not enough to actually do it and that, amongst other things, places me right there with the lousy people of the world.

sometimes, intention is of no consequence after all, no matter at all. like starving overworked beaten up people will give two shits about how i feel for them, and just feel for them, nothing more.

someday, i'd like to be able to not buy stuff from places like nike, which use horrific child labour and still have the most abhoorent pricetags attached, or places that charge more for the same thing. i'd like to buy only the necessary and not what i'd rather, and i'd like to give the money saved, in form or in kind, to the people in really underprivileged countries, rather than flag days in singapore (not to say singaporeans are ALL very privileged, but you know what i mean). and i'd like for them to get it without going through all the red tape because i really doubt even a quarter of the money intended for their cause actually reaches them. i'd like to take a year off work and work with them, with no financial insecurities bogging me down. i'd like to really appreciate my life instead of just superficially, like now. i'd like to make a difference, to as many people as i can, who really need it rather than to who really would appreciate it.

someday.

when the going gets tough, u just keep going

dang everything seems to be about uni now. my life is so bland.

wait. it always was;)

have been emailing friends overseas. i miss them so much more now then when they were in singapore even though we were far from regular meeters. is there such a word?

so here's a shoutout to them. hello take care and bring me back chocolate ok! :):)

of narrow minds and big heads

Best get back to the kitchen

To stem divorce rates, improve relationships, women should stop working after marriage Marriage licence is cheap, divorce is expensive – so don't take it lightly

Letter from Seah Leong Khai
Letter from Danny Chua

I refer to the latest figures on divorces released by the Department of Statistics ("Divorce, inter-racial marriages on the rise", Sept 26).
.
The 6,909 divorce cases in 2005 in Singapore is an alarming number. This is 8.2 per cent higher than in 2004 and has increased by 33.8 per cent since 2000.
.
Why do people get divorced? The most common reasons are infidelity, financial problems, unreasonable behaviour, physical and emotional abuse and failed expectations.
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The conventional wisdom on divorce is that it only happens after both husband and wife have tried their best to save their marriage. But I have my doubts. In more than 70 per cent of the cases, it was the wife who filed for divorce. Why?
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Women continue to work after their marriage and having children. This, I believe, must be the one of the main contributing factors for the high rate of divorce.
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Women prefer to work after marriage because this provides financial independence. When things get tough after marriage, these women are not willing to ride it out with their husbands and are not afraid to call it quits as they know they can easily support themselves.
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Another problem arises when women continue to work after marriage. Husbands, who are usually the breadwinners, expect to return home to warm home-cooked meals and a well-organised house. But if wives are also working, they feel stressed and complain about doing the housework after their day at the office.
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Men will begin to feel deprived of these things. Tensions and misunderstanding build up.
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If women stop working after marriage, I believe it can help to foster a better husband-wife relationship and thus reduce divorces.
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Women should understand that if they can't stand the heat of working life, it's better for them to get back into the kitchen.
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The divorce rate is rising and wives initiated most of the divorces. This could be due to emotional poverty, post-pregnancy depression, unhappy childhood, and so on.
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About four per cent of the adult population here suffers from depression. There must be early intervention to prevent this leading to a spiralling number of divorce cases.
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Also, the existence of the Women's Charter may lull women here into thinking the law is on their side.
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The law usually awards 35 per cent of matrimonial housing assets, a lump sum for maintenance and 50 per cent of the financial assets (subject to full and frank disclosure and legal discovery) to women who made only direct non-financial contributions to the marriage.
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Marriage is all about love, but divorce is all about money, aside from the custody of children.
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A marriage licence is cheap and takes about a month to obtain. A divorce decree nisi is expensive and takes nine to 17 months to obtain. It is expensive due to legal costs of between $5,000 and $50,000; pre-mature termination of life insurance policies (30 per cent to 100 per cent loss of premium paid); selling their home at distressed value, and other associated costs.
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Unless the relationship is toxic, divorce should not be taken lightly.
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No one should enter into marriage lightly with a view to divorce if it doesn't work out. It is a life-long commitment, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in good health or bad.



which era were these people born in? pre ice age or something?

so everyone is entitled to their own views and all that but seriously if u, or u know anyone i know who is like this please inform me so i know better.

it's like in south asian today when we are dicussing dowry deaths and its prohibition and all and a certain dude goes, and very confidently at that, 'oh i think it's very practical and there's no reason to have it banned' and all that utter bullshit. i wanted to stab him or something then and there itself, and i hope he gets no wife willing to take such shit. WHAT A CHAUVINIST.

dinner beckons. yay:D

i've been having the strangest dreams the past few days

wait. i've been having dreams and that's strange enough.


now i know why only i felt liberated on wednesday after the other tests. somehow something told me i was far from done but i didn't realise what it was till JUST NOW when i woke up with a start realising i have three french essays to do by today and read up on my south asian gender stuff so i have something to say in my presentation today and i have all my tests next week and my tutorials and presentations and the organizer i bought is utterly useless because i never write my work or appointments in it and it just takes up space in my bag since i never even look at it!

i am getting more and more stressed and the break out is worse than ever but i'm going to watch tv first, and then at 10 i shall go start on my work.

damnit.



EU test - tuesday
EU presentation - tuesday/thursday?
french test - tuesday/friday
pol sci presentation - friday
soci assignment - tuesday
soci presentation - tuesday


hello i hate tuesdays. more than wednesdays and after today, fridays too.
why can't i remember what my fifth module is. shit.

happy days!

oooh yeah wednesday is over! ok tests la. bloody stupid too, can i say i think uni is HARD HARD HARD.

french was funny (not to me though)cuz all the activities we've learnt are like. sports and arts stuff. so i spoke abt the sports i do, like canoe, velo (cycle), football, and cheval (horseriding). to which the examiner was like oh..interesting. and i said 'you know i'm just lying right?'and she started laughing. DARH.

and then i TOLD madhu to say dad's a docteur if anything because that's the only occupation i know in french when i have to think like, automatically, but the stupid baboon said he's in banqueing and then i said he was a docteur and the examiner's like..so what...your mother is president?

and how was i to know that the guy in the picture was linked to the other pictures? cuz like. when she asked me who he likes i DUH said celine dion, bill clinton, princess D, whoever came in mind. apparently i was supposed to describe the characters in the pictures near him but as khaliesah said je ne peux pas regarder le photo! bleagh.

well that's over thank god.

South asian was scary. like the part where they said we gotta leave a seat in between (but we worked round that anws) and when peter reeves said essay should be at least 2-3 pages.
bloody hell.
MCQ was actually more killer than essay. thank god for GP, and for social studies.


am so glad it's over. now for the rest. bring it on.
come sunday.

uni's no joke man

I'm no fun. But that's ok, because it means I'm growing up.





once again the barking bloody procrastination has left me regretting wasting my holidays away. it's a real mad scramble to finish my homework. and there's all the stupid presentations to do. and for the life of me i don't understand why harry puts up stuff on ivle last minute, when i'm rushing my own last minute homework.

and of course, there's the tests. why isn't wednesday OVER ALREADY. like south asian studies isn't bad enough (seriously. whats up with the reading on the kumirpur village and calcutta demographics?), i have two french essays to complete and a bloody oral to prepare for.

excuse all the complaints but if u were one of those who said uni is easier than jc u deserve a hard whack for more reasons than one.

i hope i hope i hope ivle crashes for three months. the three that'd matter most.





because i'm looking back now and wondering, was that really me?

wednesday please just get over soon

bye roshni.

shucks, that's like my three oldest friends ever having left singapore.
nvm la. two months, two months.


can wednesday just get over soon? and obviously the days in between too. am dying daily under the load of work which i never get round to doing and it's the last two days and all my homework which i better start and not bother about other readings better be done by then.


the ugly reminiscence of jc. bah.

tagboard up!

oh yeah and i managed to get it there all by myself, on first try. this is a helluva huge accomplishment for me:D

and i just had to say this, not cuz i'm big on it or anything, but because i think khaliesah is super funny and i hope i've spelt her name right.
'vote for hady because jonathan is a political science major anyways so he can run for president as J O Nathan.'

am glad this whole hullabaloo is over and done with and life can get back to normal with local sitcoms on channel five that will make me switch to other channels. don't get me wrong. i have nothing at all against local productions, but sometimes, they're just too ... for my fancy. not like malcolm in the middle. heh.

but still. highlight of my last night was getting my tagboard up. see. i told you my life is dull.


friday how?

it's like, every time i'm here the words on my mind just don't pass through the keyboard.

hello welcome i shall not say anything in french till i get the hang of it.

I can't make this fancy-schmancy, and quite frankly, won't be bothered to either.

but tagboard needs help la.

ok bye!:)